The 34 funniest search queries so far
10,000 lucky people have found BlogStorm via search engines in the last 3 months, not all of the search terms were what you might expect from an internet marketing blog and some were just too funny.
If you want to see what I blogged about to rank for these strange queries click here to read all 200 posts.
Here are the pick of the bunch:
“human powered search market”
“mahalo fail”
Jason, is that you?
john chow + matt cutts
Best friends forever.
10,000 one way links
Wow. Let me know when you find them.
“sphinn vs digg”
I don’t think you’re quite there yet Danny.
“lets have sex”
Not tonight, thanks for the offer.
“ebay stolen”
Really? Who took it?
“how to have internet sex”
Maybe in a few years time.
“what is the use google”
John Chow is that you?
“wikipedia facebook”
SEO nightmare?
“buying stolen caravans”
Not really recommended…
“caravan stolen what to do”
Buy it back on ebay.
“cookie stuffing +affiliates +wikipedia”
Pretty sure the Wikipedia editors won’t like that.
“get sued for linkbuilding”
Not gonna happen.
“google hack porn pictures”
What ever floats your boat. Try MSN hack porn as well.
“how to make money from reading books”
“making money by reading ads”
Not going to make you rich very quickly. The guy who searched for information on how to “make money from paper” is at least on the right track.
“how to take the picture of my penis”
“normal people penis photo”
????
“google sell links $2000″
If they pass PR please let me know. Don’t tell Matt though.
“gay cruising in the uk”
“free homemade dog food recipes”
“ferret tracking device”
“famous people penis pictures”
Pretty sure BlogStorm didn’t answer these queries.
“make £10,000 in 3 days”
“make £50,000 in two weeks”
Just what I like to see. A long term strategy.
“why people take pictures”
Not sure. Maybe to preserve the moment?
“john chow” slap
John isn’t to everyones taste but that’s a bit harsh.
“perez hilton” nude pics
Most people prefer Paris but each to their own.
“are .biz domains any good for a google consultant”
Not really. Its all about branding you see.
“1 billion email addresses”
Give me your email address and $10 and I’ll send them over.
“can you take pic with webcams”
Err…yes.
“do people really read blogs”
Not sure. You tell me.
Categories: Search
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Read some similar posts
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You have got some very funny ones out there! Your comments on those are even better
Raj September 27, 2007 2:55 pm | Reply
it’s always funny to see Long Tail keywords and their evolution, i’ve got some of the weirdest search terms EVER and only god know how they found my site with it…
Rea Maor September 27, 2007 3:34 pm | Reply
“lets have sex”… I think someone was propositioning Google.
JoeTech.com September 27, 2007 5:55 pm | Reply
He He, You have a bunch of right weird ones there.
DaleHay.com September 27, 2007 10:00 pm | Reply
This is too funny! I actually don’t remember how I found your site. But I assure you it was not using any of those keyword phrases.
I enjoy your blog and read it often.
Lisa
Lisa Christine September 28, 2007 12:35 am | Reply
ha ha… excellent.
I will certainly be keeping a “very” close eye on our users search terms.
I love the “how to have internet sex” - what if he or she ever found out…!
Si
Simon Dance September 28, 2007 11:56 am | Reply
hmm, I guess I should look over your site a bit more closely to find the related content
Anthony September 28, 2007 6:40 pm | Reply
Great sense of humor! We enjoy your site over @ AskTheAdmin.
AskTheAdmin September 30, 2007 2:34 am | Reply
Ha… You think your searches are bad mate
http://londoncokehead.blogspot.com/search?q=strange+searches
Also: FYI Perez Hilton is actually a blog title
lch September 30, 2007 12:06 pm | Reply
Hilarious. I keep a separate page for such interesting queries that lead to my blog. It’s here
Ashok September 30, 2007 12:32 pm | Reply
First time I’ve visited your site (via digg) and I can’t help but wonder what you blog about to get found with such obscure search queries
Stu September 30, 2007 12:37 pm | Reply
“can you take pic with webcams”
Ahh, what a great question. You certainly have a good few weird queries to find your website. Strangely enough somebody found my site with the “ferret tracking device” one too. Weird!
Melissa September 30, 2007 12:44 pm | Reply
Lol great list, there are some really unusual search queries. Ask.com long ago used to have a self-refreshing page that would show queries as they happen, I remember just looking at all the absurd things that were being looked up (you could also see the results they found). The interesting part was that you would see some one look for something weird, and then they would probably go to one of the results, and then come back to the search engine and ask something like “I want x, but not the first site you showed me”. lol they’d continue this for a bit until they realized that it wasn’t helping by literally entering “show me something different”
Simolians September 30, 2007 12:58 pm | Reply
I get stuff like this all the time as well. Normally it’s link spam. You should have seen my wife’s face when I showed her some of the stuff that was hitting my site - classic.
Justin September 30, 2007 2:00 pm | Reply
hilarious! you got some pretty funny ones for an Internet marketing blog. I wonder what’s the relation between those search terms and Internet marketing.
James September 30, 2007 2:12 pm | Reply
Very funny indeed!
Boulderdash September 30, 2007 2:16 pm | Reply
i’ll start to cry
bilirkishi September 30, 2007 3:20 pm | Reply
“buying stolen caravans”
Not really recommended…
“caravan stolen what to do”
Buy it back on ebay.
Uhh, maybe these two are linked somehow.
Chris September 30, 2007 3:38 pm | Reply
I should do the same thing with my site. Some of the search terms are hilarious.
WTL September 30, 2007 3:51 pm | Reply
“how to take the picture of my penis”
“normal people penis photo”
????
—
LOL
syl3rblade September 30, 2007 3:52 pm | Reply
“wikipedia facebook”
SEO nightmare?
lol that one made me laugh out loud!
Gerhard September 30, 2007 4:50 pm | Reply
I just did this on my blog recently. It’s amazing what some people look for…
Thomas J. Brown September 30, 2007 4:55 pm | Reply
It’s ridiculous how loose the search on Google can be sometimes. Just going be by site, people have linked to it while looking up all sorts of things, none of which have anything to do with the site. Never got anything as funny as these though!
Chris September 30, 2007 5:12 pm | Reply
So now are you going to be creating some rich tutorials on these search hits to satisfy your some of your visitors needs?
Austin September 30, 2007 5:37 pm | Reply
Claire Huxtable’s Toes is the best one on my site. Funny thing is that it’s popped up more than once.
Clint September 30, 2007 5:45 pm | Reply
Actually looing back at some of the Google searches on my stats they are quite interesting, either way they still came accross http://www.WhichWebsite.com
mikey September 30, 2007 5:51 pm | Reply
Your comments are really funny along with readers search queries
Thanks for internet for revealing people’s inner thoughts
Venkatakrishna Nalamothu September 30, 2007 7:07 pm | Reply
That’s great. It’s strange what people type into their search engines…
Kurt September 30, 2007 7:56 pm | Reply
awesome results, lol!!
Nature Wallpaper September 30, 2007 8:53 pm | Reply
“how to take the picture of my penis” …that’s a cool search
emil October 1, 2007 6:28 am | Reply
Man you never know how people search you….
but one thing is for sure you optimize your title for this
how to make money October 1, 2007 6:50 am | Reply
lol @ this one….
“gay cruising in the uk”
“free homemade dog food recipes”
“ferret tracking device”
“famous people penis pictures”
Ronald October 1, 2007 3:28 pm | Reply
wikipedia facebook”
SEO nightmare?
“how to take the picture of my penis”
“normal people penis photo”
????
Made me cry with laughter
emerson direct October 1, 2007 7:47 pm | Reply
lol. this post made my day.
syahid ali October 10, 2007 9:46 am | Reply
Wow, can’t think of such queries. Nice collection. how you got the list. I’ll sure write them on my Website Design site.
SEO December 14, 2007 11:29 am | Reply
hey, I would change “10,000 lucky people have found BlogStorm” to “10,000 VERY lucky people have found BlogStorm”
Max Worton February 19, 2008 5:03 am | Reply
I came there with “marketing blog” !
What a pity !
hummpfff
stetoscope June 1, 2008 8:44 pm | Reply