21 More Really Funny Search Queries
After the success of the first round of funny search queries I’ve trawled through the BlogStorm logs once again to find 21 More Really Funny Search Queries.
My conclusion after writing this post is that a lot of people on the internet are weird and that BlogStorm probably isn’t doing a very good job of answering peoples questions when they search for this stuff.
“a picture”
Try to be more specific
“answer my question”
Taking that attitude isn’t going to help.
“asking my wife to take nude photos”
Try buying her some flowers first.
“big penis photograph”
How big do you want? Will 800×1200 pixels do?
“blog your way to a top job”
If only it was that easy
“buy cheap sell for lots”
My first stockbroker visitor.
“can somebody explain what astro physics is all about”
Err, probably not. I’ve got a degree in it but that’s about it.
“cheese website with live feed”
Who the hell would make a cheese website with a live feed? Oh, wait.
“directory submissions matt cutts”
Man, that guy does everything nowadays.
“-1 google page rank”
Wow that’s bad, how many links did you sell???
“funny penis recipes”
I can’t imagine that ever being funny.
“got a car- need to make money”
Try being a taxi driver
“how do you turn people in a picture naked”
Wow, that would be some cool software. Imagine being able to take a picture of clothed people and make them naked. A real Photoshop killer.
“how to get a body like johnny wilkinson”
I’m guessing training 8 hours a day with a rugby team will do it.
“misspelling for seo”
Try oes or eso.
“people love to take picture with their penis”
I’ve been trying to get mine to learn how to work a camera for years.
“photo of my penis”
Imagine if you searched for that and Google actually found some correct results!
“how to have good sex”
“how to have amazing sex”
“how to have sex on top”
“different phrases for “lets have sex”"
This was the same IP, queries listed in the order they were performed.
If you have some funny queries post them on your blog and let’s see who has the funniest.
Patrick Altoft is Director of Search at Branded3, a Leeds SEO & Digital Agency specialising in SEO, Web Design, Development & Social Media.
Comments
Read the 13 comments below, or add your own!
You got it! Great Search Queries
Lol anyone would think this was a porn site based on those queries!
Ok, I know you said to put it on our blog but we really didn’t have that many random ones and they certainly weren’t as funny as these. However, I came across this one that’s pretty good “sometimes when I am alone I Google myself”…who doesn’t really?
That’s nothing – I’ve gotten “Dog fucking a chicken” before.
I always love viewing the keyphrases that land on my page. I setup a Photography Blog in July, and I’ve had some funny ones. Here are some classics:
finding weed vancouver island (Better luck on a street corner), caught off uculet b.c (fishing town), photo restaurant the bonfire vancouver (?!), and nothing funny then when Live.com starts to rank for one word phrases like comments, or island.
HAHA! This post is soooo true.
-Mike
When I LOL in real life, you know…laugh OUT LOUD, which some would call cackling like a hen, then something was really freaking funny. I just spent the last couple of minutes howling with laughter – very loudly. Thanks!
Funny post
My brother has done a few posts about weird stories involving cats. As a result he gets all sorts of search queries involving cats and sex. Really quite bizarre.
Well, we had a go. Sort of had to after reading this.
lols…simply cool
I’m still trying to figure out this one from my blog: “how many dirty test until you get violated”. Can’t say I’ve ever taken a dirty test, but I wasn’t violated at the SAT, ACT or GRE.
NSFW as it as, I compiled this for a project we use to work on…
http://www.drivl.com/posts/view/635
Here’s a whole load of mine
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April 30, 2008 at 2:06pm